I Who Have Nothing: A NelenaNalex Fanfic
by Taylaa
Summary: She loved him. But he loved her as a sister. Now Selena has a tumor and Nick has gone away. The only thing left is his autobiography. Will he come back? Does she survive? The world may never know, but you can. Read I Who Have Nothing.
1. I Can't Believe Him!

Hey guys. Sorry I've been a little busy. I meant to start it Saturday but I slept at my friends house all weekend. And I've been busy. I went to my best guy friend's wrestling match and my best girl friend's basketball game. And I've been cleaning my room to redo it Saturday. But to those of you who are sticking around to wait. Thank you so muchh. I've just been so Busy, busy, busy!(= HERE WE GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…!(=

* * *

Demi Lovato walked into The Heavens Above Hospital (great name huh?). "Selena Gomez, please?" she asked. "Room 705," the nurse replied. Huh, she thought, what a coinkydink! She knocked on the door and heard a faint "come in." She walked into the room and gasped. She hadn't been able to see Selena in a week or two and she looked horrible. Selena had always been a small girl but she aws frail now. Like if you picked her up and dropped her on her feet she might break. "Selena! I missed you so much! You look horrible!!" Demi said breathlessly. "Oh thanks Dems. Nice to know I seem better." That was Selena, always trying to be witty, even in the worst of times. "Demi, will you give me that book please?" Demi picked up the book and handed it to her. Selena ran her hand up and down the spine. It was her favorite book.

"In other news! Demetria Torres will know become Mrs. Demetria Devonne Gray!!!!!!!" With that she held out her hand showing the big, expensive rock on her finger. It made a tear fall from Selena. It was just like the one Nick had given Miley, her arch enemy. "Demi, will you read me that story?" she asked her best friend. "Selena, it's probably the worst story for you to read! And you know it by heart. You lived it!" "Yeh. But he's not here now. He probably never will be. And who knows when I'm going to die of this cancer!" At that, Demi gave in. She felt guilty that Selena could be only 27 and have breast cancer so bad she could die at any given moment. "Okay, but only one chapter today!"

* * *

**THE BOOK**

* * *

_Everyone makes mistakes. Some good, some bad and some are just plain forgettable. But nobody has ever regretted so much that they wrote a book on it. Except for one- Nicholas Jerry Gray. To the people he ever hurt, betrayed, loved, stopped loving, or led on._

"Come on Selena! We have to go meet the boys at the beach. They've probably been waiting for half an hour." Demi called to her best friend, Selena. "Oh, you just want to see Joe! And you know that I want to look good for where ever I go!" Selena called back, yelling from her room upstairs. "No you just want to look good for Nickkkkkk." Demi called out, mocking Selena, knowing she was in love with her best friend.

"Psh, pffttt, uhh, no!" "Mhm," Demi said. They walked out of the house and drove to the skate park. They strutted over to Ricky's Skate Shop(Rico's Surf Shop. Clever right? Lol.), seeing as they practically owned the place. The boys still hadn't showed up yet. "Ugh, where are you Nicholas? And Joe?!" Selena asked out loud. "Turn around beautiful," someone said, making Selena blush.

Her heart was racing, her knees weak, her brain not properly functioning, her lungs breathless, her mouth having trouble trying to find the right words to say- all at the sight of Nicholas Jerry Gray. Then came the she-devil, as Demi and Selena called her, and of course, Joe, but only behind Nick's back. But to Nick, Miley Ray Stewart. The girl he loved. Or at least, was pretty sure he loved.

The girls had already ordered the usual and were trying to get Miley to leave. For Selena's sake of course. "Hey Miles. How have yah been?" Nick asked. "Ugh, the usual. I broke two nails yesterday! AND my heel broke and my favorite skirt ripped. UGH! The tragedy." Oh please, Selena thought. It's all a plea for attention. "Oh, I'm so sorry Miley. Maybe I can help you get new shoes and a skirt today?" Nick asked, actually sounding sincere. "GAG!!!!!!!" Joe yelled out, then smiled towards Selena. "Thank you," she mouthed. Joe and Demi were the only ones who knew about her crush. Then she started to drift into thought.

IS HE KIDDING ME?! Selena thought. Every time I ask him to come shopping he whines and complains the whole time. And besides, today is always our day to hang out. It's been tradition since we were like 4. I can't believe he'd break tradition for Miley! Stupid Miley, stupid Nick. Oh who am I kidding, he's not stupid.

Miley started to eat Selena's omelet. "EW EW EW EW! She ateeee it Selly! She ate your food. You'll get her poisoning!" Joe yelled out, making Nick feel embarrassed. Why did his brother have to be so immature? Ugh stupid Joe!

"Joe, shut up! You're making Miley feel bad! Just leave her alone! You don't see Selena flipping out and it's her omelet. So how is it Miley?" Nick asked. "Too many calories!" She spit it out and dumped it in the trash. "Let's go Nickypoo!" she said, and he followed.

Selena. Was. HEARTBROKEN! "Come here chickaaaa," Demi whispered, pulling her into a hug. Joe wrapped his arms around both their waists, pulling them in closer. "Guys, I think I'm just gonna go home." Selena said. She didn't want them to see the tears. She ran out of the skate park! "I'm going to fu**ing kill your brother and Miley! UGH!" Demi yelled. "Dems, be calm. ( I say that ALL the time) He'll come to his sense soon enough. Little did they know, soon was far, far away!

* * *

**THE HOSPITAL**

* * *

"I think that's enough for now," Demi said, and she closed the book. She picked up all of Selena's cards. "Demi, can you hand me that one?" Selena asked. There was a thin circle in it, making Selena curious. She opened it and realized it was a CD. Demi took it and put it in the player, knowing that was what Selena wanted. "To Selena, the girl that always mattered, I just never realized it." Then a familiar song came on, but Selena never remembered it being dedicated to her. The chorus came, and It had been so long Selena couldn't remember the words but remembered the tune, so she hummed along.

_When you look me in the eyes, and tell me that you love me._

_Everything's alright…3_

* * *

**So guys, was it good? :/**

**I tried, but the person I originally got it from was amazing.**

**I wish they were still on=(**

**Again sorry about the wait.**

**I do take anonymous reviewers.**

**So don't be afraid to review even if you don't have an account!(=**

**.Jonas.**

**For now,**

**-Taylerrrrr(=**

**(its Tayla, but whatever. Lol.)**


	2. How Does He Do That?

Hello children and teenagers.

And aliens. (=

Bleeg bloop.

Just kidding, I know it's been forever, but I can never get motivated, but I'm doing this for you. So review please. By the way, can you _**NOT **_see Joe totally yelling "EWEWEW She ATE IT SELLY! SHE ATE IT"!?Because I SOOO can.(:

And now, to start off with a quote3

And to clear something else up, I changed it from breast cancer to a brain tumor, but it's not too, too serious, like she can still function for herself.

_"Sometimes, the truth isn't good enough. Sometimes people deserve more. Sometimes people deserve to have their faith  
rewarded."_

-the dark knight,3

WHAT TIME IS IT?

Disclaimer Time! (:

I own nothing. Although that would be absolutely amazing to own Joe Jonas [:3

* * *

Joe Jonas walked into the hospital and went up to the receptionist. "Room number for Selena Gomez please?" "Room 705 sir," the receptionist replied, looking bored with whoever it was. "I was fine 'til 7:05. When she walked out the door and right out of my life," Joe sang softly, sounding like an angel, walking away with the receptionist gawking at him. Joe faintly knocked on the door and heard a faint come in.

As he walked in, he gasped, just like Demi had the day before. "Selena you look like Edward Cullen bit you!!" "Aw Joe! Have you been catching up on that Twilight like I asked you to?" "In fact I've just gotten to the part where she finds out he is a vampire. (And people I'm sorry if I spoiled that for you but come on, it's kind of obvious. No offense. But like you really think she's going to go through the whole series without ever finding out? And if you didn't know that about him then you're just plain stupid. Again, no offense. *acts innocent*)

"Joeyyyyy, can you do me a favor? Please, pwetty pwease?" Selena asked, trying to look innocent and childlike. "I don't like that face!" Joe warned her. "Can you read me from Nick's book?" "Ugh, Sel, when are you going to give up, we don't know where he went. I know it sounds mean, but we all miss him. Maybe not as much as you, but we **do** miss him. He disappeared that day. And you know what happened. What if he never comes back? Are you always going to read this book?" Joe asked, trying not to be _too_ mean.

* * *

**FLASHBACKS…WHEE OOH [:**

Selena's Point of View,

_*reading a letter at the hospital*_

_My Dearest Selena,_

_By the time Joe and Demi give this to you, I'll be on a plane. Don't yell at them. This was in their mailbox, saying to Selena. And if they opened this, tell them if I ever see them again they're in so much trouble. They don't know where I'm going. Nobody does, even me. I had a flight attendant get me the most random ticket. For all we know, I could be going to Guam. But I asked her to keep it close by. I couldn't live knowing I was too far away. It's too late by the time you get this. You'll never see me again. Unless we cross paths. Don't try and call me. My cell phone number has been changed and it's under one of my friend's names. You will never realize who it is. I know it's a little late for this but… You are my best friend. You were there when the world wasn't. You made my day. You listened when nobody else would. I realize what happened to us, the girl I thought I loved. Every time you miss me, listen to our song, Inseparable. I wrote it for you that time I went on vacation for a month. I was hopeless. And at this time… I will be, once again. I can't wait to see you when you're older. I hope that I will be awakening to see you every morning. Whether we are best friends or in love. You've always been the most important person in my life. I hope you move on and find someone that will love you, more than I ever could. You matter to me, don't think I did this because of you. I have to go. I don't want to say these words, but… good bye. For as long as we are separated. I love you._

_Love,_

_Nicholas Jerry Grey_

"_No, No, No!! He cannot leave me! Not like this! I can't lose him! I need him! I was there for him! I need him to return the favor!" Selena wailed, bawling her eyes out, sliding down the wall. *omg can you see that!? Selena Gomez sliding down the wall because of Nick!* _

"_Honey, what do you mean, not now?" Demi asked, concerned._

"_I mean that I have a brain tumor! Ohp!" She had meant to say it at a better time, not now._

"_WHAT!? Selena, what do you mean? A brain tumor? How could this happen? You're so young?" Demi asked. She was crying now too. She had just lost one of her best friends, she couldn't lose the other._

* * *

**BACK TO REALITY- BOOHOO! [:**

"Fine, I'll read you from the book, only because I can tell you're having that flashback," Joe said. It was the flashback that gave her nightmares. She loved him so much, too much for her own good.

* * *

**BOOK [:**

It was Monday. And Selena was getting ready to walk into school with Demi. "Dems, why doesn't he love me like he loves her?" Selena had turned around to look at Nick and Miley snuggling under a tree. She kept trying to make out with him, but he turned her down. They had only been going out for two days. "Oh Sel, he loves you so much more than her," Demi didn't know what to say. There wasn't much proof of this right now. "No, I get that he loves me. But why isn't he _in_ love with me. Why does she rule him? He doesn't realize how much I love him."

Nick walked into homeroom alone. He went to sit down near Selena. "Hey Selly. Sel? Selena!" She was ignoring him. What had gotten into her? "What Nicholas? What could you possibly want after blowing me off on Saturday, ignoring my calls yesterday, and not walking with me this morning? What could you possibly have to say to me?" "Well, I uh… See Miley needed me and..." "Don't even Miley anything. You could say you had tradition. Does this mean that we have to start a new tradition? Is it going to be called 'Blow Selena off Saturday' now?" Nick was speechless. "Mmm, thought so." Selena got up and stalked out of the classroom. It was free period. Nick followed her out. "Look Selena, Miley's my girlfriend now. I had to be with her." "Over a friggen' ripped skirt? Well I'm your best friend. Am I becoming second. Is Demi third? Are you gonna put your family last? 'Ooh, my girl friend's a' –never mind. But are you gonna put her first all the time? I've been there since you were born. Remember? Well obviously not. But I've loved you my whole life. I've been there through everything. Don't you get it Nick? I've always been there! You can't put me last all of a sudden." And then she realized what she did. She confessed her feelings. "Look Selena. I love you too. You've been like a sister to me, my whole life. You've made everything I've done possible. Because I've always had an amazing support system. But that's just what Miley needs. Nobody has been there for her all the time. Her dad's always on tour and her mom is always shopping. Miley needs someone there for her. That's what I'm going to do. You can be friends with her or you can hate her forever. It's your choice." 'Good, he didn't realize that I actually LOVE him.' Selena strolled back into the classroom. Tears were threatening to fall. But she was too strong to let that happen with all her peers around.

This went on for days. They'd fight then make up. They'd yell and she'd cry. But would it all be worth it? Or was it all just a waste of time?

* * *

**BACK TO THE HOSPITAL[:**

"Selena?" Joe asked. "Are you okay, hon?" "Yeah, I'll be fine Joey," Selena said cheerfully. But it was fake. And could be told easily. "Let's look at one of your cards," he said. He picked one up and opened it for her. A piece of paper fell out. He handed her the contents and the card.

_Hello Love,_

_I plan on being with you through everything. And you won't even know it. Maybe one day, if I become strong enough, I'll come see you. And maybe if I'm even stronger, we can be together, forever. Start a new tradition. [; Don't worry love, you'll always be in my heart. Whether you think so or not. Because we've got tradition. And I've wrecked everything, and somehow you still love me. Don't worry babe, we'll make a new story._

_Love,_

_Nicholas Jerry_

_P.S- Iloveyouforever. 3_

"HOW DOES HE DO THAT?!" Just as I start to get mad at him, and think he'll never come back, he still has a way of reminding me of what I've never had, and what I might someday get. Why?" And Selena broke into tears. But Joe read the paper that fell out of the card to her.

**Your eyes shine brighter than any city lights.**

I know because I've searched the world.

**Your smile is prettier than anyone else's.**

I know because I've searched the world.

**Your hugs are the warmest I've ever had.**

I know because I've searched the world.

**You're the prettiest girl in the world.**

I know because I've searched the world.

**You're the best person in the world.**

I know because I've had you since day one.

"How is he so romantic and he's not here?" Joe murmured to himself. "I don't know Joe," Selena replied, she had heard him. "I may never know," she muttered, but this time, nobody heard her.

* * *

Isn't that adorable?[:3


	3. I'm Okay, I'm Just Lying

I Who Have Nothing

Chapter 3

Guys, I'm terrible. Absolutely horrific. But please don't unsubscribe! I'm so sosososososososo sorry! I've been so busy. And every time I went to write… No inspiration. I had no good ideas. So today, I sat down and wrote. Until it sounded okay. I'm sorry.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

When you're young everything feels like the end of the world.

But it's not, it's just the b e g i n n i n g.

You might have to meet a few more jerks, but one day you're

going to meet a boy who treats you the way you deserve

to be treated. Like the sun r i s e s and s e t s with you.

- 1 7 A g a i n

Kevin's P.O.V.

I walked into Room 705. Joe told me about the rude secretary lady. I walked in and saw Selena. She looked AMAZING! Well compared to some of the other people around here. She had color in her cheeks. Then I saw what she was reading. A page of the book. THE book. Well, if it makes my little sister happy, it makes me happy. She always seemed so upset. Then I really noticed what she was doing. She was looking at the author's biography. The one where there's a huge picture sometimes. Well, this book had a picture of Nick Gray's face on the back cover. And Selena was full-on staring at it. True love, such a hard thing to find, but when you do, grab it, and NEVER let go.

"Selena, how yah doing Hun?" I asked, a little nervous about the answer. "Just fantastic, Kev. Absolutely grand." Selena was smiling, genuinely smiling. Nobody had seen her smile like that in a while. I missed that smile. "Selena, would you like me to read to you?" I was the only one who would ever read to her. I think it helps her, it will help her get better. It keeps her sane.

THE BOOK (:

"Oh my god, Nick! Again?!" Nick was calling Selena to cancel. Miley "needed" him. Or just needed him to not hang out with Selena. "Jealousy is an ugly thing. Suits Miley perfectly," Selena mumbled. "HELLO PARTAY PEOPLE! DEM-AY LO-VA-TO IS IN THE HIZZZ-HOUSEEEEE!" Demi was screaming from downstairs. She had decided they'd have best friend's day with Nick because they had been growing apart. But Nicholas had just cancelled, fantastic! Selena was getting fed up with Nick's cancellations. It was always because of Miley in some way or another. Nick had fallen for Miley. Well, if that's what you could consider falling. Some people chose to call it blinded. Nick was blinded by Miley. But you just can't help some things sometimes. Because that's how life is; it's got a course, and sure, at times, you can choose a path, but other times, you just had to keep going straight, there isn't always going to be a turn.

A few days later, Selena was home alone. She heard her phone ring. It was a number she didn't know. "Hello?" She answered. "Hi…Selena." It was Miley. She could hear giggles coming from the background. "Look, 'Sel', we all know that you want Nick to be with you, not me but it just won't happen. Nick's in love with me. Don't be so stupid Selena… You're just the girl next door. Nick's 'Best Friend Forever'. So get over him. Bye Selena."

Selena was broken. Nobody could know that she liked Nick. She hadn't even admitted it to Mitchie. Or Shane. Even though you could tell they knew. It was better to deny it, because admitting it puts it into the open.

Nick had Miley. It wouldn't matter if she was in love with him or hated him. He was happy with her. How could she ruin that for her best friend? She couldn't and wouldn't. Although that smile, those eyes, that hair. It was like a four-year-old on Christmas. She lit up when she saw him. But things happen sometimes, where it doesn't matter what you want; it's what they want.

'_It's not the end of the world, Selena_.' She tells herself this, every night. But in never helps, nothing can help now. She's broken down in tears. Her head is down. She's alone now. She's always alone. The loneliness never stops for Selena. It's hard; always having to do things for yourself, never getting the help you need. Ever since she was little, Selena's been independent; but for once, she just wants someone to come up to her, someone to hold her, someone to whisper in her ear… "Shh, it'll all be okay. It'll work out soon." But nobody ever does. Because Selena's alone, once again.

She whispers it to herself, "I'm okay." She hopes somebody, anybody, will hear her. But nobody ever does, why should she expect that? It will never happen. For once, she wishes someone would find out she was lying. Someone would turn on the light and say, "Don't cry Selena. I'm here for you." She wishes that for once, someone would love her. Not the friend kind of love. The kind of love that makes your knees weak, your heart stop, and your stomach do flips. The kind of love she has for Nick. But nobody ever does. Because nobody wants a plain brown-haired girl with brown eyes. They want beautiful girls. The kind that are in movies. And Selena could never be that girl.

All Selena wants is for Nick to say to her, "I love you. You mean more to me than Miley." Because that would be all Selena needs, her best friend to fall for her, the way she has fallen for him.

HOSPITAL!

"Thanks Kev. You're the best. You're the only one who will actually let me read it, voluntarily. With Demi and Joe, I have to beg. So, thank you." Selena genuinely thanks him. She can't thank him enough for all he's done. "It's no problem Selena. It looks like you get better with every time I read to you." Kevin replied. He was grateful for Selena. He could never thank her enough for the changes she made to Nick; all good ones of course. "Are you okay?" he asks. "I'm okay." She whispers. What he doesn't notice… tears are falling down her face.

So guys, is it good? I'm so grateful for all of you. Thank you. I'm going to start chapter 4 now. So, thanks. 3

**a****n****d ****s****h****e ****w**_**h**__**i**__**s**_**p****e****r**_**s **_**i****'****m ****o****k****  
**into the **darkness** hoping someone cares  
enough to realize that **she's l-y-i-n-g**


	4. He's Not Coming Back

I Who Have Nothing

Chapter 5

DID YOU GUYS HEAR!? Let's welcome Jemi to the world. Yup, that's right. THANKYOU OCEANUP! They are now together. There is a god! Although, lately there HAS been doubts. But we all know that they have to be true. I mean, for us, of course. :)

And I'd like to dedicate this chapter to allierox106 and xXHeadInTheStarsXx. Allierox106 recently favorited and subscribed to not only this story, but myself as an author. You guys have NO idea how GOOD it makes me feel knowing you like my stories. Well, you might, but I've never had faith in myself as a writer. So, thank you Allie. It means a lot to me.

And Bridget, my fanfiction best friend and my real life one too. She inspires me each and every day. She tells me to keep writing, even if I feel I'm not good enough. She's there to listen to me drone on, and she gets how I feel. She knows just how I feel about celebrity couples. Thank you Bridget, for being such a good friend, and such a good writer. At the same time. ALL the time. :)

"Although I'm only **fourteen**, I know _quite_ well what I want; I know who is right and who is wrong. I have my opinions, my own ideas and principles, and although it may sound pretty **mad** from an adolescent, I feel more of a person than a child, I feel _quite_ independent of a n y o n e."

-Anne Frank

Selena's P.O.V.

I'm crying. Shocker, right? I start to write in my diary. But I only get as far as, "I miss Nick." It's written on every page ever since July 17th. Some things in life just take a toll. I think back on the old times. The nurse comes in to check on me. "How are you feeling dear?" That's always the question. "My head or my heart?" That's _always_ the answer. "Both Selena. You can tell me." This was my favorite nurse. She's kind of like my best friend. She knows all about Nick, Miley, Demi, Joe, Kevin. Basically, my whole life story. "Well, my head feels amazing. But my heart hurts. It hurts so badly. I miss him Nursie." I always call her Nursie. I don't care to call her by her last name. I don't think I even know her last name. "Selena, you love him. He loves you. He'll be back. You just can't resist true love."

At this time Demi walks in. I've missed her. She's been so busy planning her wedding with Joe. It's been quite some time since I've seen the two of them. I want to go to the wedding. I want to at least be **a l i v e **for the wedding. Even if I don't go; I'll be okay. I just want to see pictures, to laugh, for Demi to be able to relive her wedding, to just hear about it, would be a miracle. I love Demi and Joe. They're my best friends. But I miss him. They say love isn't about whom you can live with; it's about whom you can't live without. Well, I've had to live without him and I know this is love. It always has been, but there's no doubt in my mind this isn't love; especially now. Nick. Nick. Nick. I need him. I have to have him. It's love. If this is love, he'll come back for me. If he loves me. I don't even care if he's not in love with me, as long as he still loves me. As long as he's still here, with me.

The Grey and White boys and one Torres girl walk into my room. "Hey," I say. They reply the same; except they're mumbling, like something's wrong. "Selena, we have something to tell you." So Joe lost the bet. Every time there was bad news for me, they played a card game, poker. Whoever lost all their money first, told me. Kevin always lost, why is Joe telling me? "Selena, look, we've got really bad news. The doctors don't know if you'll be ready in time to be standing at a wedding all day. It's exhausting. But we don't want to postpone the wedding. We don't mean to sound selfish but…"

"Joe," I say, "Do you think I could talk to Demi alone for a moment? And **don't **listen in this time." Joe and Kevin walk out, leaving me to find a way to explain this to my best friend. "Look Demi, I want to explain one thing to you. How could you be so SELFISH!? I can't believe you wouldn't postpone your wedding for me. What's wrong with you?" "Selena, I can explain-" I cut her off with a round of giggles. "Did you _really_ think I'd think you were selfish for not wanting to postpone the biggest and best day of your life? I'm glad you're not postponing it. If anything, I want you to have it and tell me all about it. Unless I can be there, then you wouldn't have to tell me about it. But, I want you to marry Joe. On the planned day. Just, promise me one thing? Promise that, if I am better, I can be a part of the wedding. I'd love to take pictures. I could be your photographer. I was in college for it. If you want me to take classes I will. I just want to do something for you."

"Selena, did you **really** think I wouldn't let you participate in my wedding? If you can, that is. I would love if you would be my maid of honor. I know normally the maid of honor plans so much, but I wanted to plan my wedding and with you in the hospital it's perfect. I can plan and you can rest for my wedding day." "Demi, what happens if I'm not better?" "Then I have no maid of honor, Joe might not have a best man. It all works out." I don't understand why Joe wouldn't have a best man. Jason was here, wasn't he? He was going to the wedding. Until Demi showed me a magazine, _then_ I understood. "Joe Grey has announced proposal to a certain pop/rock star, Demi Torres. He has told us, 'Both families are very excited for us.' He wishes to find Nate Black before the wedding. 'I don't care if I see him a minute before the wedding starts and he's in pajamas, I want him next to me at the altar, as my best man.' So, Nate Black, if you're reading this, show up at 'Smitchie's' wedding."

"Selena, this isn't the only magazine. An article just like this is in every gossip magazine around the country, making front cover. Even magazines like Bop, M, and Twist. It's all over the country; we want him to be there. He's our best friend, no matter how long we've gone without contact. "Demi, do you think you could read to me?" "Of course, want the boys to come back?" I nodded and the boys walked in.

**THE BOOK**

So Nick still hasn't talked to Selena. Every time Selena approaches Nick, Miley walks over and kisses him. He doesn't remember that Selena's there, only that Miley is in his arms now. That seems to be all that matters to him anymore. _Maybe it's time to end this friendship, _Selena thinks. But when she goes up to tell him, she chickens out. She can't imagine life without Nick.

It had always been Nick and Selena. _Nelena. _Everyone thought they were meant to be. Their parents had been putting aside money for their big wedding since the day Selena was born. They knew that their kids would end up together. But now they weren't so sure. They knew Selena was in love with him, but they were waiting for Nick to realize he loved Selena back. The moment he found Miley, Nick's mom and dad were trying to find an excuse for him to get rid of her. Everybody was. Nick just **had **to end up with Selena. It was destiny, fate. If Nick was going to end up with Miley, they would have to screw around with it. Nick and Selena were meant to be; that's just the way it was.

Another day passed and Nick still hadn't called Selena. '_You know what? I'm done waiting around for him to call me. I'll call him instead!' _she thought. So she did just what she said, she called him, only to reach his voicemail. "Hey guys, it's Nick. I can't get to the phone right now, but if you leave a message I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Oh, and if it's you babe, LOVE YOU!" His voice filled her ears. 'Love you, love you.' It just kept ringing. It was floating around in her head and no matter how many times she thought it wasn't true, she knew it was. She felt like her heart was **actually **breaking. She felt like she was actually going to just crack open, straight down the middle. She was actually torn; should she stay friends with Nick and suffer, or should she end the friendship, and let her heart take its time to heal? As much as Selena loved him, she was thinking about putting herself out of her misery. She shouldn't have to deal with all the hurt, just because she loved her best friend.

For the first time in a while, Selena was on Nick's mind. He was thinking about how lucky he was to have her in his life. She had been such a great friend to him for such a long time. He was thinking about the first time they met, back in kindergarten.

_Selena was a bright, young girl but she loved to play pranks on the other kids. She'd paint on their projects, or their faces. She walked up to one boy, Nick, and decided to paint him purple._

"_HEY! What was that for? You're being a meanie head!" Nick yelled. The teacher rushed over to see what was going on._

"_Selena! Nicholas! What is going __**on**__ here!?" She yelled. Selena knew she was in trouble. That was the second time this week. Her mommy was going to make her go to bed early AND she wouldn't get to have dessert tonight. And Thursday was brownie night! _

"_I, uh, I.." Selena couldn't think of anything to say to get her out of this. She had run out of excuses last time._

"_It was my fault Miss Grillo. I was making fun of Selena and she got mad at me. I started it though." Nick swiftly spoke up. Even at such a young age, he was quite the mature one. Nick knew he would get in trouble, but he didn't care. This Selena girl had been getting in trouble, and he knew it wasn't always her fault. The teacher just liked to blame it on her._

"_Well, Nicholas, I guess I can let you off with a warning. But Selena, I will have to tell your parents if it happens again. AND you will be forbidden to paint in class for the next few weeks until I think you are able to handle it," Miss Grillo warned them. Nick knew his parents wouldn't mind if he got in trouble, but he saw Selena's parents yelling at her when she got out of school the other day. It wasn't fair that she got yelled at even though it wasn't her fault._

"_Hey, Nick, uh, thanks... For, you know... Saving me back there. I wouldn't have gotten a brownie tonight and I would've had to go to my room early. BLECH!" _

"_It was no problem, Selena. I didn't think it was fair the Miss Grillo always yelled at you. So, I thought I'd take the blame for this one."_

It was from that day on, that Selena relied on Nick. He had always backed her up, gotten her out of sticky situations. But he wasn't there when she needed him most. He didn't know that though. He was doing an amazing job as a best friend. He listened to her, and helped her with what she needed. He was always supporting her. And she did just the same. Especially with Miley. He had found love, and was worried that Selena wouldn't accept Miley, but she took her in, as a friend, and Nick was grateful. Miley intimidated some people, with her looks, popularity, and smarts.

Selena was a girl that didn't trust. She trusted VERY few. That might've been why she couldn't be friends with Miley. Or it could be that she knew she wouldn't last if she had to hear Miley brag about being with Nick. It just didn't make sense to make herself suffer more than she had to. And besides, Miley had her friends already, she didn't need Selena.

Selena was young. Some say she was too young to fall in love. But she knew that Nick was the one she would love forever. Just because she was young, didn't mean she couldn't decide things for herself. She knew that she wanted Nick. She knew Nick was right for her. There was no doubting that. She knew he was going to be there for her until the day she died. She knew he would always put her first, and keep a place in his heart for her.

At least, that's what she _thought._ That was until Miley came around. Now Nick spends every waking moment with her, and doesn't have a care in the world for Selena. Miley ruined everything. She broke apart a friendship; she broke years and years of building trust and faith between two people. She broke Selena's only chance at true love. And Selena didn't know what to do with herself anymore.

_**BACK TO REALITY!**_

Selena knew it was almost over. This part of the book that brought her pain would be over soon enough. She was heartbroken all over again though. Every time she reads this part, it kills her inside. She wants Nick back, but he isn't coming back. They think she doesn't hear them. They think she can't hear the fighting they do outside of her room, all because of her and Nick.

"_You can't just keep giving her this false hope, Kevin. She thinks he's coming back. It's been three years, Kev. Face it, Nick is gone for good." She could hear Joe through the thin walls and the shut door. It wasn't that hard, although it was easy to tell he was trying to keep his voice hushed._

"_Maybe he'll come back. He's our brother, Joe. He can't just disappear off the face of the Earth! It's Nick. He'll be back soon. We can't give up on him just yet! He would never hurt Selena like that!" Kevin whisper-shouted back at Joe._

"_Look, Kevin, I know you're just as upset as the rest of us. But you have to learn to let go at some point. We all have to. Nick's gone, and he's not coming back." Selena heard footsteps until they became so faint she had to strain to hear them. They left. They made her listen to all that just so they would LEAVE!? It wasn't fair._

Selena thought back to this moment. She had grown since then. She still had hope, but she knew there wasn't a big chance anymore. As time went on, the chances grew slimmer, and Selena understood that. She was done holding out for Nick. She just held on, because she loved him. This was love.

**I hope you guys liked it. I kind of pushed myself to get this done, so it's not my best. But I tried.**

**HOW MANY OF YOU SAW NEW MOON!?**

**Better than the first, in my opinion. Just saying though. Jackson and Kellan were funny! I'm so excited for Eclipse; because that one is all about Jasper, and Jackson is, of course, my favorite!!!!! I cannot wait. AND it comes out on my mom's birthday, so I'm taking her to see it!!!!! AH!**

**Sorry, got carried away. So thanks. Please review. I accept anonymous reviewers, so don't be afraid to leave some critique, just nothing TOO hurtful! :)**


	5. Author'sNote I'mSorry, I Lost It All

**Hello everyone, and Happy Holidays. I have just woken up, at 5:45 am. The family is waking up at about 6 so I'm getting in some, 'quiet' time, before everyone wakes up.**

**I had written a new chapter for you, and it was particularly long. I sat in my computer chair, only to find the computer had shut off itself. It had performed updates. My mom has it set it does this during the middle of the night.**

**Thankfully, I have Word '07 which comes with auto save, as in it will automatically have a little side bar that has your story so you don't worry about losing anything,**

**I know, this is my entire fault for not saving it, and I feel STUPID. But every time I would write, I'd end up getting rushed off and didn't have the time.**

**This morning when I turned it on, I opened word and there was the chapter. Except it was missing at least three pages. **

**I am devastated. This was the first time in a while where I felt inspiration to write this, and like it was actually going somewhere. It actually made me feel good to post. I was writing for this story daily, and now it's missing.**

**I DO plan on updating sometime this vacation; you don't need to worry about that. I'll do my best to rewrite what I had, exactly.**

**I hope you all aren't mad. I really want to surprise you with an update on my part.**

**I am SO sorry. **

**Happy Holidays everyone.**

**If you review this after you open presents, I want to hear what you got; no, I'm serious. I love hearing about what other people get too!**

**Love,**

**Taylaa**


	6. In This Moment

**I Who Have Nothing**

**Chapter 5**

"He is _alive _and **well**. I love him _enough _that **I **want that. I **want **him to _have _what's **best **_for _him."

-leah clearwater; breaking dawn

Selena laid her head back into the hospital bed's pillow. She wasn't in the most comfortable position, but she'd have to make do. Who knows how long it would be until she could leave. The doctors came in and did their daily check on her, signed her chart, and left the room. Selena let out a long sigh. She knew she should be used to this by now, and she was. She was just so lonely. With Joe and Demi busy planning for the wedding, there were less visits. And Kevin was just busy all together. He was trying to become serious with Danielle, and he still had his career to focus on. So the days grew longer as they passed, and Selena couldn't help but think of Nick at times like these. Where was he? How was he doing? Did he miss her? Did he ever even _think _about her? She couldn't help but let her thoughts get the best of her and think back to the times when Nick would promise he would never leave. It was **those** times that made her miss Nick the most. She missed the times when the two of them would just lie under the sunset, saying whatever was on their minds'. She let her mind wander, thinking back to the times where she was truly happy.

"_Nick, do you ever think about the future?" Selena asked, her eyes closed, due to the glaring sun coming from the bright blue sky._

"_Well, I know that you and I are going to stay best friends forever, Selena. I know this because you mean the world to me and I'd be a total idiot to let you go, just like that. So, I plan on holding onto you forever. I'm going to hold onto you until you are so sick of me that you are going to force me away, but even then I won't leave. You're going to get so sick of me that you're going to be avoiding me every waking moment." Nick replied coolly. _

"_How do you do that Nick? How do you know __**just**__ what to say to me to make me feel like everything is going to be perfectly fine?" Selena was in awe. He always said the right thing at the right time; it made her wonder if he ever messed up._

"_I always know just what to say when I'm with you because you make me better, Selena. You make me a better person. It's like; I know all of the answers when we're together because you shed some light on me. I just, I feel like our whole future is planned out when I'm with you. When we're apart, I feel the universe falling apart. When we're together again, I can feel everything patch itself back up because __**you're**__ around. It's like you save me, Selena."_

It was that moment that she realized that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with Nick. 'Oh god, I sound like I'm writing my wedding vows!' There she went again, talking about spending the rest of her life with Nick.

Selena looked at the hospital phone and decided she wanted to call Demi. She listened to the dial tone and dialed the number.

"Hey girl hey" Demi spoke peppily.

"Hey Dems. What's got you so peppy?"

"Well, Miss Selena, I have found the perfect wedding dress, it's like a Cinderella dress. It's got a strapless, corset top and the bottom is puffed out, like the ones we used to dream of having as little girl. Don't you remember? My dreams are coming true, and it's all thanks to Joe." Hearing this, Selena felt a few tears fall down her face. She wasn't sure if they were out of sadness, happiness, or jealousy. She was so happy for Demi, but upset she couldn't there to help Demi pick out her wedding dress like they had planned. It just wasn't fair that this is what fate had in mind for her. Sure, she would never wish this on another but why should she have to deal with it? Locked up in a hospital room all day while everyone else got to live their lives, and there was Selena, rotting away into nothing. There was just no justice.

"Look, Selena, I want you to see it, so I'll bring pictures by in a little, okay?" Demi asked. She had a plan, she wasn't sure how to go about it, but she had something brewing.

Selena told her that was fine, and hung up. She sat, waiting. Less than an hour later, Demi knocked. She should've known by now just to come in.

Demi peeked her head in and saw that it was safe to walk in. She then fully opened the door, glowing. She was wearing her wedding dress. Selena was in shock; Demi looked beautiful. Then walked in Nursie.

"Well, I figured that since you couldn't be there to help me pick it out, you should be first to see it. Aside from those in the waiting room, of course. Nursie's here to take the pictures." Demi explained, beaming. She was actually very proud of herself for coming up with something so wonderful. Maybe Selena would finally be herself, for once.

So for the next hour or so, Selena and Demi took **hundreds** of pictures, capturing every possible moment of the afternoon. Selena was glowing along with Demi. It seemed as if they were competing for the number one spot on the 'happy list'. She was acting like herself again; for the first time in a while, Selena was genuinely happy. They then searched through the Polaroid's, trying to decide on their favorite one. They then came to a quick decision when they came across the picture. It was the two of them, with their arms around each other. Their heads were thrown back and they were laughing. It was just so natural, and both girls looked beautiful. Demi in her wedding dress, Selena in her hospital gown; they looked ravishing.

"Demi, I know you don't 'encourage' reading the book, but will you, please?" Selena asked timidly.

"Selena, I would be honored to read to you." Demi answered, giggles bursting from her throat.

**THE BOOK**

It was Christmastime, and just like last year, Selena was at a complete loss as for what to get Nick for Christmas. Last year she spent what felt like AGES trying to find Nick the perfect gift. She ended up giving in at the last moment to the safe gift; buying him a new set of decorated drum sticks and some cool looking guitar picks. As awesome as they looked, Selena felt the opposite of that. When he opened her gift, she saw the smile he gave her. It was a happy one, but she couldn't see satisfaction. He had gone out of his way to get her the perfect gift (a new laptop case, embroidered with her initials, and his on the back with a 'love you') and she got him drum sticks and guitar picks. He said they were 'just what he needed' but she could see right through his act. She knew he had expected her, and so had she. But Selena just didn't know what to get him. What do you get your best friend, the one you love nevertheless? It was so hard for her, and when she came across these she knew it was better to be safe than sorry.

This year, she wanted to get him something over the top, but what, just **what** could she get him? Until she saw it. She walked by the store at least a thousand times before deciding to walk in. Then she saw it. It was the only one on display, but she knew what she wanted, and she'd stop at nothing to get it for him. She walked up to the store manager, and set her price. She walked out successful, and grinning. Now was the hard part. Ever year, Selena and Nick wrote each other letters and read them aloud. It was embarrassing at some of the things they wrote, but it felt good to hear, so they continued the tradition. Selena sat down at her desk, and got up four hours later, with a long letter, and a smile on her happy face.

A few days past, and they barely talked to each other, caught up in their families at home and how they were going to spend Christmas. Selena realized that it was Christmas Eve, meaning she would be going to Nick's house the next day. She decided it was then that she would wrap the gift she got Nick, seeing as they got up at the crack of dawn to go to the Gray's house to eat breakfast and open gifts over there. Every year 'Santa' visited the Gray's house and left all the kids gifts there, the Russo's included. Selena finished wrapping her gift, and sealed Nick's letter in an envelope. She decided it was time to hit the hay, and went to sleep.

"IT'S CHRISTMAS! IT'S CHRISTMAS!" Selena bellowed, running through the house. Selena was so excited. She knew Nick would just love her present, so this year she was anxious to rush over there and give it to him. Her mom and stepdad walked out just then, all dressed and ready to go.

"Can I drive Mom? Oh, please please please please please?!" Selena asked, dragging out the last please.

"Yes, Selena, you can drive. Just stop yelling!" Her mom couldn't help but crack a smile at her joy, she knew how in love with Nick Selena was, and she couldn't wait to see what Selena had gotten him. She wouldn't even show it to her parents; she was so devoted on making sure it was a surprise for Nick. She didn't want word to get out. Because of the short drive, Selena realized she was already at the Gray's._ 'Hmm, I don't remember ever getting in the car and driving.'_ Selena thought. She was so excited she missed what was going on.

She walked inside to see the most heart breaking thing she could ever see. Under the mistletoe was Miley and Nick, kissing. It wasn't just a peck on the lips though, it was a passionate kiss. The kind of kiss she could only dream about coming from Nick. She turned to run, but instead, she ended up in Joe's arms.

"Hey there, baby girl, where you running to?" Ah, god ol' Joe, always there to cheer her up. He had his infamous smirk on his face, looking down at her. Then Kevin walked in.

"What's wrong sis?" Ah, good ol' Kevin, the one that could see right through her. He was smiling sadly; he couldn't stand to see his little sister so upset. Then they both turned around.

"Ah," they said simultaneously. Then a silence was issued. Not so much awkward, more comforting than anything. It was giving her time to forget about what she just witnessed.

"That explains SO much," Joe said, speaking up first.

"Why did nobody tell me **she** was coming?" Selena spoke through clenched teeth. She couldn't stand to see another girl in Nick's arms, let alone Miley. It killed her inside. Nick finally let go of Miley and turned only to see Selena being consoled by her brothers.

'_They've got it under control,_' he thought, but he couldn't help but feel a pang at his heart. Selena, **his **Selena was hurting, and he didn't do anything about it. But Miley was here, and he couldn't just desert her. He knew she felt out of place in his home, especially with the Russo's over. She knew they all fit together well, and Miley just couldn't squeeze herself into such a tight bond.

He suddenly saw Joe lean in to whisper in Selena's ear and she giggled. He couldn't help but feel another pang at his heart as he realized they were growing closer than they used to be. 'No biggie.' He thought, but it was a 'biggie'. A huge one actually.

All of a sudden he felt someone's hand grab his and he smiled when he realized it was his girlfriend. He looked down at her and smiled.

Selena looked over at them, and saw the small exchange between the two. It was the little things like this that got to her, because it showed how much they really cared. All of a sudden she got an overwhelming urge to break the two's happy moment, so she ran up to Nick and hugged him. She then proceeded to scream in his ear, "PRESENT TIME!" She rushed outside to her car to grab his gift. He couldn't help but chuckle at her excitement. She was still the Selena he had known and loved, still as excited every year.

She ran back inside, beaming. She announced that she wanted Nick to open her gift last, and he merely nodded, accepting defeat. He knew when Selena said wait, she meant WAIT. Not wait a few minutes, wait until she said so. So Joe, Kevin, Nick, Miley, Selena, Frankie and all of the parents passed around gifts.

At the end, Frankie had gotten some new toys and video games he had wanted, Joe got some shirts and a new iPod. Kevin got a new guitar, and some shirts. Miley got a few gift cards and a pair of earrings from Nick. Selena looked up at Miley and apologized softly, claiming she hadn't known Miley was going to be there, which was the truth. Selena had gotten gift cards, some new clothes, and a new iPod. She thanked everyone, grateful for such great gifts. Nick had gotten some new clothes, and a new guitar stand. Selena couldn't help but smile at the irony of the gifts he got.

"Alright Selena, I think you and I have waited long enough. Let's exchange gifts." Nick grinned, broadly. He was so excited. He had seen the big package and was anticipating what would be in it.

"Alright, but I'm going first!" Selena claimed, sticking her tongue out at him, which he returned playfully. She then grabbed the box out of his hand, ripping off the wrapping paper. She then looked down at it. Selena felt tears welling up.

"You- you found it?!" Selena had lost one of her favorite teddy bears when she slept over Nick's house at a young age. Her grandfather had given it to her a few years before he died, and when she lost it, she was a wreck. She looked down at the bear and it brought back all the old memories. She had dragged that bear with her everywhere. Then she dug underneath even more and found a scrapbook of the two of them. Her favorite picture of them was on the front.

"Oh, Nick, you shouldn't have." Selena felt the tears fall, and she looked up, laughing at herself.

"Oh, but you see, I did. I knew you wanted something memorable, and here it is." Selena looked up at Nick, and hugged him for what seemed like hours. He rubbed her back soothingly, whispering your welcome, while she repeated her thank you's over and over again. Then Nick pulled back, his arms still around her waist.

"You know what this means, right?" Nick asked her. She nodded, knowing he wanted his present. She handed it to him, carefully. It was fragile, and she relayed the message to him, making sure he didn't break it. It was a one-of-a-kind, and she knew he'd just love it.

He opened the paper slowly, making sure he caught the look Selena was giving him.

"Oh just rip it off!" She yelled. There it was the yell he was waiting for. At that, Nick ripped off the paper, only to find what he had been waiting for.

"You got me a cherry red electric guitar!?" He screamed. Nick was expecting something good, but nothing could top this.

"Oh, I didn't just get you a cherry red guitar; I got you THE cherry red guitar. Look at it REAL good, Nicholas." Selena let out a wink after saying this, making sure he caught it.

'She got me a cherry red electric guitar. The exact cherry red electric guitar I had been waiting for with-' "STEVIE WONDER'S SIGNATURE ON IT!? HE ACTUALLY SIGNED THIS GUITAR!!!!!! STEVIE WONDER TOUCHED THIS GUITAR! HE ACTUALLY PLAYED THESE SAME STRINGS WITH HIS OWN FINGERS!!!!" Nick yelled, at the top of his lungs. He didn't care how loud he was, it was that amazing of a gift. He had lied, nothing could top THIS!

"The minute I spotted it, I knew I had to get it for you. I'm guessing you like it?" This statement came out more as a question.

"DUH I LIKE IT!" Nick was still yelling. He couldn't get over the fact that Selena has gotten him the most amazing present of a lifetime. He rushed over to her and picked her up, spinning her around. He then kissed her cheek repeatedly. This made Selena beam, her smiling growing larger with every kiss, if possible. Miley fake coughed a few times, but Nick didn't care. His best friend got him the ultimate present; how could he ever repay her? Little did he know, each kiss he gave her was slowly repaying her, in just what she wanted. His love.

"Selena, this is the best gift I have ever gotten; you are **amazing**. This is the best gift EVER! Thank you so so so so so so much, Selena. You truly are the best."

Miley then looked up at him and gave him her gift. He opened it, knowing it couldn't top Selena's, but whatever it was would be awesome. It was drum sticks and guitar picks.

Joe and Kevin looked over at Selena thinking the same thing she was, 'Pfft, amateur. That gift was SO last year.'

"See, Nick, now you can use my gift for Selena's." Miley explained proudly, as if she and Selena had teamed up to get good gifts together.

"Well, you see Miley; I've been saving the awesome guitar picks Selena got me last year for this exact guitar. I was saving up for it, but she beat me to the punch." Nick then grinned at Selena. "That is, if I ever use this gift. It's so perfect I might just keep it in a glass case for all to see."

Miley's face fell, knowing she had to admit defeat. She let out a small, 'oh', and gave up, looking at her shoes. Nick then moved over to sit near Selena. They grinned at each other, then started looking though the scrapbook Nick made.

"Oh Nick! You remember that day? We had thrown our hats in the air and they got stuck in the tree, so you climbed it for me. Except, you got stuck, so we had to call the fire department." Selena was giggling at the very thought.

"Yeah, and remember this? In second grade when we both thought it'd be cool to color coordinate. Gosh, what were we thinking?" Selena looked down at the picture, and started laughing. It was the two of them holding hands, both wearing blue and white shirts with blue jeans and white sneakers.

"And Nick, remember this day? You found out you had a puppy and I started crying because I thought you loved it more than me. But when I started crying you came over and told me you named it Selena, after me, and then you made me stop crying."

"Oh yeah, that was a good day. I was so happy to finally have a puppy. I had been begging and begging." Nick replied, smiling cheekily.

What nobody had noticed, was through all of the fuss over the scrapbook and memories, Miley had slipped out, and drove herself home.

Selena was the first to notice, but didn't say anything, thinking Miley had just gone to the bathroom, too jealous to watch the encounter. 'Finally, she can be the jealous one for once.' But then Selena felt bad. She ran outside to get Nick's letter, remembering that she had left it in her glove box. She then noticed Miley's car was gone. When she went back inside, she pointed this out to Nick, and he just replied with a simple, 'oh', too wrapped up in his guitar and the scrapbook to care. Selena then shoved the letter into his hand. He looked down at it, and processing what it was, he ran upstairs momentarily, and came back down with a small white envelope in his hand. Selena decided she wanted Nick to go first and he proceeded to open it and started reading.

"Dear Nicholas,

You are an amazing person; you need to know that. You've been there with me through every up and every down, holding my hand and guiding me through it. I don't know where I'd be on this Earth without you. If I had never gotten you in trouble back in kindergarten, we might never be here today, as the best of friends. It's a tragic though, really. I might be stuck with one of those goody-two-shoes girls for a best friend. Can you even _**imagine!?**_ Me, Selena, with a good best friend... Unimaginable."

At this Nick looked up, chuckling. No, he could not imagine Selena with a good person as a best friend. Wait, did that mean he was a bad person? He went to open his mouth to ask this, but Selena interrupted.

"Keep reading," she insisted. So he listened, and did what was told.

"Nick, I know you just looked up to ask me if you thought I meant you were a bad person. No, I don't think that. You're just not always that good. But do you see what I mean about the best of friends? We just know each other. I just **get** you. And you know I do, so don't deny it. Because I know that you are inside of your head. I'm just that good.

Nick, every moment we spend together is a new memory, good or bad; mostly good, of course. I can't even begin to write them all down, so I won't even try. We've been there for each other for so long, that I can't even begin to imagine stating them all. I hope the memories **never** end, because when they end, we end. And if we end, then I end. It would be as if I lost myself to you, which I already have. You've got a huge chunk of my heart, and if you left, a big part of me would be gone too. Without you, I'd be nothing. I, who have nothing, promise to love you, forever and always. I, who have nothing, promise to stand by you in everything you ever do. Nicholas, you ARE my everything.

Love,

forever&always,

Selena Russo"

Nick looked up to see Selena with a tear rolling down her cheek. Her ran to her and hugged her, whispering comforting words.

Nick spoke first, "Oh Selena, that was beautiful." Nick had tears rolling down his cheeks. It was now Selena's turn to comfort him. She wiped away his tears, smiling at him. Smiling at how open he was with her.

"Well, aren't we the most pathetic people." Selena stated sarcastically. Nick just looked at her.

"Selena, I want you to know something. I want you to know that, I'm glad Miley isn't here right now. If she was here, we wouldn't have been able to cry like that. I wouldn't have been able to hold you close to me, soothing you, because I had to make sure she was happy. You are my best friend, and you come first. But sometimes, she feels like she should be first, and I love her, so I have to make her happy. But at the same time, you need to be happy. I try to make you happy, but you close yourself off to the world when you're upset. Miley is very open. So I feel that you've already worked out your problems, so I comfort her. Even to your best friend since the beginning of time, you can close off your feelings. But I'm still going to push you around; I'm still going to shove until you open up. I realized that I haven't been trying, and maybe if I put in a little more effort, you'd finally give in, and realize that you do need someone. And maybe you'll realize that someone is me. But whoever it is, I hope they make you the happiest you've ever been. I hope you are happy beyond words, to the point where you feel like you're going to explode. Because Selena, you mean the world to me. You have every part of me, yet at times I feel like you don't want it. But no matter what, even if you hate my guts, I'll still be giving you every part of me. I love you Selena, never doubt that."

Selena looked down at the letter that she was about to read, and realized the same words that he had just spoken were written on the paper.

"Oh Nick, you memorized your letter for me?" She ran into his arms, jumping into them, burying her face into his neck, tears falling fast. "I could never hate your guts. It's you, it's always been you. You make me the happiest I've ever been, Nick. It'll always be you, forever."

They sat there, hugging. They held each other until what felt like the end of forever.

It was New Year's Eve, and Selena was spending it alone. Nick's family was throwing a party, just like every year, but this year was different. Miley would be there, and Selena couldn't stand to see them share a kiss at midnight, just like all other couples. She couldn't stand to see them together, let alone in that scenario. So Selena sat down, and wrote a letter, not to herself, not to Nick, not to any of her best friends, but to Miley. Yes, Miley, the one person she couldn't stand. It was no ordinary letter. No, it was one where she admitted something she **never** thought she would. It was only a few minutes to midnight when she finished, so she folded it up, and put it into an envelope, shutting it for good.

She heard some rattling and then a bang. She was scared suddenly, realizing the time. It was only two minutes to midnight. '_Who sneaks in on New Year's Eve other than-'_ the thought of someone trying to rob her house or kidnap her sent chills down her spine. She immediately turned her television up, hoping to drown the sound out of someone outside. She hoped it would send the person away, realizing someone was home. But the noise kept coming, more rattling. It was a warning, telling Selena to run. But for some reason, her feet wouldn't move. They were planted in one spot, until she plopped herself down on the couch. '_Why won't you move!!??_' Her mind was screaming at her, but for some reason, she was calm, she wasn't scared. She sat, waiting for her intruder to enter, and when he did, she looked up in complete and utter shock and surprise.

"Nick?" She asked, "You're the one who's going to kidnap me?" At this, Nick laughed at her, shaking his head.

"Don't laugh at me! You scared me half to death! And why aren't you at the party? Why are you here? Won't your parents be worried? Won't your brothers be worried? Won't Miley be upset that you left?" Selena asked all the questions that had been running through her head.

"Hey, quiet down now. I couldn't ring in the new year without my favorite girl." Nick said, adding a wink to the end. They then looked at the clock, just as it changed to read 12:00. He looked down at her expectantly.

"Happy New Year, love." Nick leaned in slowly, closing his gently. Selena looked up at him. This couldn't be happening. She shut her eyes anyways, hoping that this moment would last forever. She felt his arms wrap around her waist, and she leaned in towards Nick. Then, their lips touched. It was an explosion of fireworks. Selena couldn't believe what was going on. Their lips were molded together. They moved at a slow, even pace, working together so softly, that it felt as if they should never part. Selena's hands moved to Nick's hair, and she started playing with the curls in the back. Nick was rubbing circles onto Selena's hips. He pulled back then, and Selena felt like an explosion of happiness and sadness at the same time. Sad he pulled away, happy they had kissed.

He looked into her eyes, staring into what felt like her soul. She stared back, for what felt like ages, but not long enough. Selena and Nick, best friends forever. What would happen between them? They kissed, and now they were staring into each others' eyes. Selena finally had found what she wanted, but how long would it last? How long would it be until he ran back to Miley, cherishing her again?

Selena wouldn't think about that now. She would think about how happy she was, to be in Nick's arms. She would hold onto this moment. Miley could have Nick, she would keep that kiss. She would remember how they felt against hers. She would remember this moment forever, because Nick was hers for this moment, maybe she couldn't have him forever like Miley could, but he was hers, for this beautiful moment.

Nick left, hours later, after her family had come home. She had pretended to sleep, while Nick hid in her closet. She didn't need this getting around to Miley. They spent the night just talking, him holding her in his arms, spending the New Year together. And Selena loved every minute of it.

When he went home, she looked at the letter she had written just hours earlier. It seemed like years had passed since that upsetting moment. She ripped up the letter into shreds, burning it in the trash can. A letter that had once read such heartbreaking words was only ashes. These words became turned black.

Dear _his n_ew girl_fr_ie_n_d; Miley,

That's it, you win. You got him. The boy of my dreams,  
yeah he's all yours. Be sure to treat him right. Alright? He  
deserves it. He's a great guy. Yeah he may need a little help  
with picking the right girl, but he's great.

You're lucky. Don't forget it. Don't forget to keep him in line... He  
tends to get in a little in trouble at school. Also, don't think he's  
forgetting about you if he doesn't answer your texts for a little  
while, that's just how he is. Treat him well. And if you need any help  
I'm here.... I'm an expert.

Sincerely,  
The girl wh_o_ wishes t_o_ be y_o_u;

Br_o_ken Hearted Selena.

P.S- I_ love_ him

Selena remembered that year. Some people take the way your year begins as an omen. Her beginning was the best she could ever hope for. But the year that followed, was one of her worst. It was a heart breaking time, and Selena couldn't stand to remember it. It broke her heart remembering the sad times that year. But in that year, had brought new ones. It was the year she met Demi, and the year she had finally been able to realize things. Things that would change her life forever. Things that hadn't meant much at the time, but now meant the world to her today.

_This is the longest chapter I've ever written, and I have to say, I'm very proud of it. This is the first time in a while that I've felt like I've had an idea for what I want to do with my writing. I want to thank all of __**you**__ for understanding the complications I had when it deleted. Yes, it was my fault, but thank you for giving me the time to reboot my writing skills, and letting me work on the chapter all over again. I like the way this is going now, and I did change it. I didn't change it much, very barely actually, I just cut a small part out. So, once again, thank you for understanding what happened, and thank you for reading. I look at the stories with 1 and 2,000 reviews, and I'm jealous. The only way for me to get that high, is to keep writing. So recommend this story to all your Nalex supporting friends, to other users. Wow, I sound desperate. I hope you continue to review this story, and that you continue loving the story. Once again, thank you for understanding what I go through. Now, if you have read this far, put a bunch of random letters. Once again, thank you so much, you mean the world to me. I love you all._

_Love, Tayla._


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